


Nothing can keep me away

by FPwoper



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Jimmy Novak Are Twins, Castiel thinks he's cheated on Dean, Cheating, Dean Talks About Feelings, Dean in Panties, I mean, Long Lost Twins, M/M, Slow Burn, i don't know anything about medical procedures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-10-08 09:35:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10383744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FPwoper/pseuds/FPwoper
Summary: Jimmy was anxiously waiting at the arrival gates. He was about to meet his long lost brother, Castiel, and said brother’s boyfriend, Dean. They had connected on accident – Jimmy had needed a blood transplant after an accident, and they needed a special donor. Castiel was that special donor, and even though they were literally on the other side of the globe, it had worked out. The blood had sparked some doubts for Jimmy, who had always known that he was adopted but never felt any inclination to find out about other family members. Now, though, now he was waiting for his brother, and he was pretty nervous. In their rush to meet, they didn’t really divest too many details at all.





	1. (1)

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will be slow because dcjbb writing and the fact that I'm only partway through chapter 2 with writing this thing.  
> Also, unedited and unbetaed. Sorry. Feel free to point out mistakes though.

Disclaimer: I don’t know anything about medical stuff and thus everything in this fic is made up. *waves hands around* suspend your disbelief, please.

 

**(1)**

 

Jimmy was anxiously waiting at the arrival gates. He was about to meet his long lost brother, Castiel, and said brother’s boyfriend, Dean. They had connected on accident – Jimmy had needed a blood transplant after an accident, and because he had a special blood group and special requirements, they needed a special donor. Castiel was that special donor, and even though they were literally on the other side of the globe, it had worked out. The blood had sparked some doubts for Jimmy, who had always known that he was adopted but never felt any inclination to find out about other family members. Now, though, now he was waiting for his _brother_ , and he was pretty nervous. In their rush to meet, they didn’t really divest too many details at all. The hospital was not allowed to tell Jimmy about the blood donor save for some generic stuff such as that he was male.

Castiel had been more proactive, though, and because he had to sign a lot of forms to agree with the donation, he had been able to weasel some more information. Such as Jimmy’s name. Which apparently sent one of Castiel’s friends on a hunt across the internet because she suspected that they were actual brothers and not just weird-blood-type-buddies. She found Jimmy and connected him to Castiel and Dean. They wanted to meet before Jimmy was going to be operated again – the accident had left some nasty pieces of metal lodged in his chest and the doctors were of the opinion that they should be removed before the metal accidentally punctured his lungs or ripped his heart. Which was probably why Jimmy still didn’t know a lot of the basics about his brother and his boyfriend.

He’d made a sign that said “Castiel + Dean” and just hoped that their flight would arrive on time. He didn’t exactly know where they were flying in from, but he knew it was somewhere in the United States. Jimmy currently lived in the United Kingdom, and there was only one non-EU arrival gate, so it was easy to find the right one. Now, he just had to wait for his brother to arrive…

 

***

 

Dean did _not_ enjoy being on flights, and he just found out that he liked international flights even less. He didn’t enjoy being on a plane for more than half an hour, which was not enough to get into the air – and that was fine by him. But he would do anything for Castiel, and if that involved flying across an ocean to meet a long lost brother that might not have a long time left to live, then Dean would do that. He didn’t exactly know what to expect, apart from what Charlie told him a few days ago. She was the one who had managed to contact Jimmy and arrange a meeting. Castiel had been so happy, and Dean wasn’t going to ask around too much about this long lost brother. Charlie had confided in him that they were the same age, and Dean’s mind immediately jumped to _twins yes I love that_.

However, then Charlie told him what Jimmy had told her the day before. Apparently Jimmy had to be operated again, because the accident that helped them connect had been a particularly bad one, and there were shards of metal in Jimmy’s body still. While they hadn’t been life-threatening, the doctors thought that it was best to get most of the shards removed – especially those close to his heart and lungs. Which Dean understood. Really. But that made the whole _let’s go out and meet your brother for the first time_ kind of macabre, really. They didn’t know the outcome of the operations, and Jimmy might die in the OR, and Dean didn’t know if that was what he wanted for Castiel. That apparently didn’t matter, though, because Castiel insisted on meeting Jimmy as soon as he heard about him.

So here they were. They had landed a few minutes ago, and Dean was still kind of freaking out about the whole _airplane_ thing, but Castiel was soothing him and it worked. Castiel was psyched as well – and, Dean could tell, very nervous. Castiel wasn’t someone who showed his emotions very well, and Dean had gotten used to that. Dean took a hold of Castiel’s hand and squeezed softly as they were finally allowed off the plane. Castiel squeezed back and pressed a kiss to Dean’s cheek.

“Thank you for coming with me, Dean,” Castiel whispered, and Dean just smiled.

“You know that I’d kill for you, right?” he said. “What’s a flight that took most of my day?”

Castiel laughed, and they joined the line for customs. “I’m serious, though,” Castiel said. “I really appreciate you flying with me to the United Kingdom to meet one of my brothers whom I don’t even know yet.”

Dean just smiled faintly, but before he could reply, he was asked to step forward and show his passport to the officer at customs. He did, and went through quickly enough. He waited for Castiel to join him again, and quickly grabbed Castiel’s hand again. He knew that Castiel needed the emotional support today, so he was not going to take it from Cas – and Jimmy had to deal with the way Castiel was. They weren’t going to hide for anyone anymore, not even a maybe long lost brother.

Dean was ready, and _he_ knew that Jimmy was waiting for them just outside of the arrival gate – because Charlie told him that that was the arrangement she’d made with Jimmy. She hadn’t told Castiel, though, because she knew that he would be freaking out anyway. Dean took a deep breath and lead Castiel arrival gate. Even _he_ was nervous now.

Both Dean and Castiel saw Jimmy at exactly the same time – or well, they spotted the sign the man was holding. Dean exhaled loudly, and swallowed. That wasn’t what he had expected.


	2. (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took me so long. I kind of ran into a writer's block headfirst on this. I didn't know where I was going anymore, didn't know how I was going to get wherever it was going to take me.  
> Updates might be slow (and I don't even know when I have time to write, so sorry), but eventually, they will be out. It's not just slow burn, it's even slower burn because I'm not the fastest writer ever.  
> Also, unbeta'd. Any mistakes are my own.

**(2)**

 

Jimmy gasped as soon as he saw two people freeze in the doorway leading to the arrival gate. He knew it was _them_. It was Dean and Castiel. And it was like looking into a mirror. Castiel really _was_ family. If anyone would doubt it, they would have to come up with a rather intricate theory about cloning, maybe. Castiel was _identical_ to him, and by the look on Dean’s face (or well, Jimmy assumed the blond-haired man was Dean), he had just come to the exact same conclusion. Dean licked his lips and whispered something into Castiel’s ear, and got them moving.

 

As they came closer, Jimmy could only marvel at Castiel, and how similar they looked. The same dark hair (dark brown, just shy of actual black), the same blue ( _so very blue_ ) eyes, the same sharp nose and cheekbones, and… then they were in front of him.

 

“Hi,” Dean said, extending the hand that wasn’t holding on to Castiel to Jimmy. “You must be Jimmy. I’m Dean, Dean Winchester. Castiel’s boyfriend.”

 

“Hello, Dean,” Jimmy said, and saw Dean’s eyes widen at his deep voice. He realised that he was falling for Dean, with his beautiful green eyes, already. Which… _no_. He couldn’t. He was about to be operated and he couldn’t steal his _twin_ ’s boyfriend away… There were so many problems with this… _infatuation_.

 

***

 

Dean was stunned. Castiel and Jimmy were definitely related, and he knew that Castiel knew, too. Dean’s hand was being crushed between Castiel’s fingers, and Dean slowly tried to loosen Castiel’s hold on him by prying away his fingers one by one and then reclaiming Castiel’s hand.

 

“We need to get a move on,” he whispered into Cas’s ear. “I don’t want to keep him waiting too long. Maybe he doesn’t just have your looks – maybe he’s also very impatient.”

 

Castiel barely reacted and Dean’s smile fell. He knew that Castiel was unsure about this whole thing, and he was definitely glad that Charlie had helped them find Jimmy, but it was still rather weird to be meeting their _identical_ twin. Charlie had kind of forgotten to include that particular tidbit in her info sheets.

 

Dean noticed Jimmy’s hyperfocus on Cas and he knew that this trip was about to turn very interesting. He could have yelled boo really loudly when they came up to Jimmy, convinced that he could scare the hell out of the man, but he chose the polite route and held out his hand while introducing himself to Jimmy. When Jimmy replied, Dean had to swallow away the saliva pooling in his mouth. Jimmy’s voice was definitely deeper than Dean expected – even though it didn’t quite reach Castiel’s register.

 

Jimmy blushed, and Castiel finally jolted into motion and also introduced himself. They were clearly both shocked that they were twins, and Dean was unsure whether or not he should scold Charlie for this. On the one hand, he didn’t want either of them to get a heart attack, but on the other hand… their faces were priceless.

 

Jimmy finally got over his awkwardness and his staring and led them from the airport into the parking lot. Dean and Castiel hadn’t brought that much stuff, since they’d only be there for a week before flying back to the USA. They quickly got into the car and Jimmy drove away from the airport without saying much else. The silence might be awkward but Jimmy was quick to put on some music which made the silence slightly less weird.

 

After half an hour, they arrived at Jimmy’s house, and Dean immediately jumped out to look at the cars standing in the garage. Somehow, Jimmy had neglected to tell them that he had… considerably more money than most people, and that he had a large sprawling house that looked more like a mansion with an old-timer collection on the side.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me that you had all these amazing cars lined up?” Dean asked. “Man… I’d have braved more than ten hours on a flight. I’d have convinced Cas earlier to come here.”

 

“You’re afraid of flying?” Jimmy said, incredulous. “I’d never have guessed that with how composed you were when you got off the flight.”

 

“Oh,” Dean laughed nervously. “Yeah. I might have spent some time in a bathroom throwing my guts up while Cas was freaking out about meeting you.”

 

“He was knocked out for the flight,” Cas added. “I don’t know what I’d have done if he wasn’t. We flew before but it was such a mess… I actually said I wouldn’t do it again. Dean convinced me not to give up.”

 

“I’m glad he did,” Jimmy said smiling. “I was rather curious about you.”

 

Castiel smiled back and they walked into the house, leaving Dean to admire the cars some more. Dean seemed to have forgotten all about them when confronted with those cars, and both Jimmy and Castiel snickered when they closed the door behind them.

 

“Is he always so obsessed about cars?” Jimmy asked Castiel. “I mean, we’ve basically snuck away and he didn’t even notice.”

 

Castiel nodded, looking out of the window next to the door to gaze on Dean’s form. It was clear to Jimmy that Castiel loved Dean a lot. “Dean owns a ’67 Chevrolet Impala. It was his father’s but when he died he left it to Dean. It’s everything to me. I’m not allowed to get a car that’s produced before the 90s, basically.”

 

Jimmy laughed and saw Dean look up in confusion as to where they were. He quickly opened the door and motioned for the man to come in.

 

“I thought I’d lost you for a second,” Dean joked, taking off his shoes immediately.

 

“You don’t have to,” Jimmy said. “Uh. I mean, I usually leave my shoes on in the house.”

 

Dean shrugged. “Well, I think your floor is beautiful and shouldn’t be having any scruff marks on it because of my boots.” Castiel snorted and Jimmy looked over in confusion.

 

“He never takes off his boots in our home,” Castiel clarified, and Jimmy nodded in understanding.

 

“My house can take it, okay? So if you’re more comfortable with your shoes on, please don’t take them off because of my flooring.” Jimmy led them through the hall into a large living area. The walls were off-white and were covered in bookshelves and bookcases. Every inch of the wall was somehow filled with books, and Dean knew that this was Castiel’s heaven. Jimmy somehow had stuff to entertain the both of them. Not that Dean wouldn’t love to read most of the titles on Jimmy’s shelves – he’d already spotted several Vonnegut books and some other novels which had been on his to-read list since forever – but Castiel… Cas _loved_ books. Which was probably why he’d become a writer.

 

“So I know you guys have been on a plane for more than ten hours, so you’ll probably want to freshen up.” Jimmy took them through the living area to the kitchen. “I’ll give you the grand tour later but for now these are the most important spaces. If you need me, I’ll be here. The stairs are over there–” Jimmy waved over to his left where a door could be seen which presumably led to the stairs, “–and when you get upstairs you can go into the first bedroom on the left. It has an en-suite bathroom, and you’ll find towels and everything there.” Jimmy sat down heavily on one of the chairs in the kitchen. “Excuse me while I rest up for a while too. I tire easily now.”

 

“That’s not a problem at all,” Dean said, smiling hugely. “If it’s too much, you can even leave out the house tour.”

 

“No, no,” Jimmy said. “I want you to see it all. I want to get to know you, and I want to know what you like.”

 

Castiel smiled, too. “I don’t think you’d need to show us your house for that, Jimmy.”

 

Dean waved at Jimmy before he walked over to the door leading upstairs. “Thanks for having us, Jimmy. We’ll be downstairs in less than an hour.”

 

“I’ll have dinner ready,” Jimmy replied, and he sighed when Cas and Dean walked through those doors. It would be hard enough to keep the two of them entertained while he was still tired so easily, but it would be well worth his efforts. He liked them already, and he knew that he was in dangerous territory – it could very well become something more than friendship.


	3. (3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's another chapter. It's a really really small one but it felt natural to cap it where I did. Please tell me what you think :)

**(3)**

The remainder of the evening was spent talking and sitting on the couch, simply hanging around and relaxing. Dean needed that in particular. The flight had been bad on him, and freshening up only helped to a certain extent. Getting to relax on the couch was the best way to go about calming Dean, and Castiel knew it.

 

Cas also knew that Jimmy still needed more help than he was probably getting, so they had been roped into cleaning and cooking for the rest of the week while they were staying at Jimmy’s. While Dean would probably complain about it all, he would at least get everything done.

 

Castiel was seated in between Jimmy and Cas on the couch, and they were watching some kind of detective that had Castiel all excited about the plot and characters. Jimmy was looking on in amusement, partially because of Castiel’s enthusiasm and partially because of Dean’s groaning every ten minutes when the main detective took in the wrong person for questioning again while the underdog was _finally_ put on the right track.

 

Castiel’s quiet enjoyment of the ending was slightly ruined because of Dean shouting “I _knew_ it”, startling Jimmy out of the fitful sleep he’d fallen into.

 

“Shh, darling,” Castiel said, putting a hand over Dean’s mouth. “The fact that we are rather alone here doesn’t mean that you can shout at the top of your lungs. Jimmy’s still here, and I think he might want an early night.”

 

Dean simply nodded, and Jimmy groaned when he realised that he was now, indeed, awake, and not quite in his bed either. “Can someone help me up, please?”

 

Dean immediately stood up to help Jimmy, too, and in a joint effort they easily got Jimmy to a standing position in front of the couch. The man was swaying slightly, so Castiel got up as well to support Jimmy. They helped  him up the stairs and when Jimmy pointed them in the direction of his own bedroom, they got him there.

 

“Thank you,” Jimmy whispered. “I’d love to get up and brush my teeth but I don’t think that’s happening today.”

 

Dean snorted. “Yeah, if that’s all of your concern, just not brushing your teeth… Are you okay, man?”

 

Jimmy shook his head. “The accident not only left me low in blood cells, I also… well, let’s just say that I am getting tired a whole lot sooner now. And I’m not the quickest or youngest anymore… Plus, getting you form the hospital took a lot of my energy, too.”

 

“Why did you pick us up, then?” Castiel asked. “Surely, if you’d told us about this, we’d have gotten a cab or the train or something.”

 

“Well, I didn’t want you to get lost on your first day, especially taking a train or a cab. Public transport might be something heavily used here, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be a nightmare for foreigners. On top of that, there’s no actual public transport over here, you know. You’d have to pay a lot to get here, and I… I didn’t want that for you.”

 

“Thank you, Jimmy,” Dean said, voice soft. “It means a lot to us that you did that. Still, I think I speak for the both of us when we say that we don’t want you risking your health anymore. Your blood donor might be close but that’s no excuse to get into trouble.”

 

Both Jimmy and Cas snickered at that, but they sobered up quickly. “I uh…” Jimmy started, but Cas and Dean were quicker.

 

“We’ll leave you to actually get some sleep.” Dean already went over to the door while Cas hovered over his brother some more.

 

“I’ll tuck him in, Dean,” Castiel said softly, and Dean nodded before leaving the room. If the two of them needed to talk some more, he definitely wouldn’t be the one interfering with it. They had so much to talk about, so taking that opportunity from them didn’t feel right to Dean. As much as he wanted to be there for the both of them, he knew that that moment was not the time to push his point.

 

He’d leave them alone for now, and they’d talk in the morning. Over breakfast Dean cooked. Dean nodded resolutely as he went to brush his teeth. He was already making plans to take over the kitchen and to treat the brothers to what they deserved. They might need it after tonight.


	4. (4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm still alive.  
> University has been kicking my ass but I'm hoping to at least get an outline done for this fic soonish so I know what I'm going to do with the chapters, and maybe even know how many chapters there will be in the end.  
> Also, this is unbeta'd.
> 
> Happy new year!

**(4)**

 

Castiel eventually comes back to bed, but Dean can only barely remember what time it was. He only remembers that Castiel’s flushed and keeps licking his lips, but that might have something to do with the panties Dean is wearing (and the fact that he was still on top of the covers, already snoring, when Castiel came back into the bedroom).

However, when they get up in the morning, Castiel is more quiet than normal, but Dean brushes it off at first. It’s only when Jimmy offers to take them into the city and Castiel declines that Dean really notices that something’s off. Of course, the whole time zone thing must have thrown a wrench in most of the plans for the day – Dean is still feeling a little off because of the whole eight hour time difference – but Castiel is never this grumpy when he’s slept a full night. It’s almost as if Castiel is worried about Jimmy for some reason Dean doesn’t yet know.

When Jimmy settles in the arm chair in the library, Dean follows quietly and pulls a book from the shelves. He doesn’t even know which one it is but he just cracks it open and starts reading. Castiel is working in their bedroom, apparently suddenly struck by inspiration, and Dean is going to use this opportunity to talk to Jimmy some more. Maybe about the cars, and maybe about the fact that Castiel and Jimmy are twins and apparently didn’t even know that they even had brothers – well, at least Castiel didn’t. Castiel didn’t even know that he was adopted and that his adoptive parents weren’t his own. Dean doesn’t quite know how to talk about it, though, and it’s slightly awkward when Jimmy is staring at Dean like he knows Dean wants to talk. Even after just half a day in Jimmy’s presence, Dean can see how similar the two men are.

“Did you know you had a twin?” Dean blurts, finally, and Jimmy looks up from his book again.

“I didn’t,” Jimmy says, voice soft. “I did know that I was adopted. Last night… last night Castiel told me he didn’t even know he was adopted, but now that he’s seen me, it’s clear as day that his parents aren’t his real parents.”

“Didn’t you want to find out who your family was?”

Jimmy shrugs. “It never seemed important enough to spend time finding out more information about it. Plus, we don’t even know where our family is from, and me living in the UK and Castiel in the US… well, that’s already a big indication that our family probably didn’t want us to ever find each other, and that finding out about our family is going to be harder than the average adoption process.”

“Well…” Dean is doubtful, still, but he trusts Jimmy. “If you ever want to know, Charlie will gladly help you. She’s… she’s great with computers, even better with hacking government systems, and she’s found out everything I’ve asked her to, so far. Which is pretty impressive given…” Dean blushes and trails off. He really shouldn’t be talking about this, and luckily Jimmy picks up on that.

“I’ll keep it in mind.” Jimmy smiles at Dean, and Dean smiles back. “I wouldn’t do that without consulting with Castiel, though.”

Dean understands that sentiment, and he nods at Jimmy for being so considerate. Dean _likes_ Jimmy, and he’s slightly afraid that it might grow into something more. Not just because he looks exactly like Castiel, but because of his character, which is a perfect complement to Castiel’s.

“I think you wanted to ask me something else, though?”

Dean sighs. Apparently Jimmy is one of those people who can read Dean like an open book after only a few minutes in close contact – or Dean is just being very expressive again. “You’re right. I… Last night, Castiel was… slightly upset, and I was wondering if you could tell me if something bad happened?” Dean clears his throat. “Not like I think something bad happened, but Castiel won’t talk to me about what happened, and I’m a worrier so I always conjure up the worst case scenario. So… yeah. That.”

Jimmy blushes and looks away, and that makes Dean slightly suspicious. “We… uh…” Jimmy seems to weigh his words very carefully. “We wanted to check if we were completely similar?”

“Is this the set-up to the worst porn ever made?” Dean is joking, but he licks his lips when he sees Jimmy flinch.

“It might as well have been,” Jimmy admits, and he takes a deep breath. “I mean… you’ll have to ask Castiel if he wants to share, but… yeah.”

“Oh,” Dean breathes. “You… you fucked?”

“No, no, no,” Jimmy hastens to say. “We didn’t fuck. We did… fuck. I really need Castiel to be here.”

“We can go over to the bedroom to include him in this talk?” Dean suggests.

“I don’t think he’d like that,” Jimmy says quietly. “He already told me that he thought he was cheating on you, and… I wasn’t supposed to tell you.” He takes a deep breath. “But you deserve to know, I think. Especially since I’ll have to go into the hospital for my second surgery in a few days, and you’ll both still here since I’ll need Castiel’s blood again. I don’t want to be lying to you, or have Cas feeling bad while I’m in the hospital.”

“I didn’t know that you had to go in again?” Dean says. He’s concerned for Jimmy, because of how easily he tires and that he’ll have to go back into the hospital. He didn’t know that, and that’s a shame. “Did Castiel know?”

“I told him last night. It’s one of the very first things I told him, before… everything else happened.”

“Are you… do you want us to help you with anything?”

Jimmy shakes his head. “No. I’ll be alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Dean,” Jimmy says with a smile on his face. The smile is soft and caring, and Dean can’t help but bask in it. Apparently Jimmy doesn’t just care about Castiel so soon, but he also already has a soft spot for Dean. Dean is determined to make sure that Jimmy will be taken care of as well – which is why he needs to go talk to Castiel, soon. Not just about the thing that happened with Jimmy (while it really does… fascinate Dean), but also about how Jimmy’s going to be taken care of after the surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always welcome <3


	5. (5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look another chapter. I've also outlined chapter 6 and 7 but I can't promise anything about actually getting them up, since I'm participating in the dcjbigbang and the rare pairs rock minibang. Those will be getting most of my attention (besides all my essays and my thesis) so... please talk to me about this fic so I can be inspired to write more.

**(5)**

When Dean finally goes to find Cas, he’s still feeling a little overwhelmed. He didn’t exactly expect the twins to get frisky with each other, and he certainly didn’t think Castiel would keep something like that from him.

            He knocks on the door to their bedroom before entering, knowing better than to just walk in when Castiel is writing. That’s never a good idea, since he’s easily distracted (or at least, when Dean comes into play) and then he might lose track of where he was in the story when his writing flow gets interrupted. Dean doesn’t want to do that to him, especially now that he’s going to discuss something very private with Castiel which is definitely going to disrupt his writing.

            “Come in,” Castiel calls out, and Dean takes a deep breath before opening the door. He definitely needs to centre himself before going in, and when he’s done that, he opens the door and sticks his head inside.

            “Is it okay for me to bother you?” Dean asks. He’s not entirely feeling up to talking to Castiel, but he knows that he has to.

Castiel looks at the screen of his laptop and beams when he turns back to Dean. “Well… I’ve just finished this chapter, so your timing is actually perfect.”

Dean comes inside and closes the door behind him. He sits down on the bed, thinking about how to start this conversation. Luckily, Castiel doesn’t stop talking right away.

“You do know that you are always welcome to ‘bother’ me, right?” Castiel asks, not waiting for an answer before continuing. “I mean, this is your room, too, and I need to be reminded to take a break once in a while. Did you read in the library with Jimmy? Was it okay?”

“Woah, Cas,” Dean says, taking Castiel’s hand and pulling him closer to the bed. “I did read with Jimmy. It was nice.” He chuckles – the irony of Jimmy telling him all about what happened while Castiel, the writer, is unable to put it into words. He pulls Castiel down onto the bed with him, hugging him close. “And I just don’t want you to lose your flow, my love.”

Castiel narrows his eyes and looks at Dean in suspicion. “What’s the matter, Dean? You’re never so cuddly except for when you’re upset.”

Dean licks his lips and shuffles closer to Castiel, even though it shouldn’t be possible. He nuzzles closer to Castiel’s neck, trying to settle. “I’m not upset, per se,” he starts, and when he looks up, he sees all colour drain from Castiel’s face.

“Jimmy’s told you,” Castiel says, voice tight. “Why are you hugging me?”

Dean is absolutely thrown. “What do you mean?”

“Jimmy told you what we did last night and you need comfort and you think that I’ve been duped and you don’t want to stay here any–”

“Cas,” Dean says, pulling away slightly to put a finger to Castiel’s lips. “Please stop talking. Yes, Jimmy said that you two… got involved. He said that I needed to talk to you about everything because he wasn’t fully comfortable sharing it without you present.”

Castiel nods, still pale. He’s not shaking, so Dean counts that as a win. He starts stroking Castiel’s back slowly, trying to comfort him. “I went to talk to him after you went to bed because I needed to talk to him about… us being twins. Us looking so very alike. I… I don’t…” Castiel bites his lip, looking on the verge of tears.

“It’s okay, Cas,” Dean says. “I already know that something is happened, and you can tell me. We can talk it through. It’s definitely less bad than you’re thinking right now. Can you just tell me what’s happened yesterday so you can get it off your chest?”

“I want to, but I can’t get past the idea that you’re going to leave me.”

“I won’t,” Dean says, reassuring Castiel as best as he could. “I love you, and this… I think this counts as extenuating circumstances, honestly.”

“Okay,” Castiel says, sighing softly. “You know we started out talking just about us being twins and how that happened. I didn’t know I was adopted, and we still don’t know how this happened, how we could have been split up and no one… no one knew about it. I don’t even know if my parents know. Well, they know they adopted me, of course, but that I’m part of a set of twins… I don’t think that was disclosed. So yeah, I was nervous, and we wanted to… we wanted to check how similar we are. Of course we aren’t… we don’t sound the same, Jimmy’s grown up in the UK, I grew up in the US… yeah. But we wanted to see if there were any other differences.” Castiel swallows heavily. “I feel so guilty, because I suggested it,” he whispers. “We pulled our pants down, and… I don’t know what happened, Dean.” Castiel looks away from Dean, but Dean spots the tears in Castiel’s eyes.

“It’s okay, Cas.” Dean kisses Castiel’s cheek and snuggles close again. He doesn’t have to see Castiel’s face to see that he’s not lying. “I won’t stop loving you. Jimmy already told me you didn’t have sex, and that’s… Weirdly enough, that’s the thing I care about most. I don’t want you to do that without talking to me first.” Dean knows that Castiel is looking at him strangely, but he decides to ignore it.

“We blew each other,” Castiel says bluntly. Then he hides his face in Dean’s shoulder. “And I liked it.”

Dean swallows and tries to push away the images. He’s not allowed to have that, he can’t also fall in love with Jimmy when he already has Cas. Except… Castiel might want that, too. “Did you swallow?” Dean only barely manages to speak – he feels as if his entire throat suddenly dried out. Somehow, it’s a great turn-on, and Dean is desperately hoping that Castiel doesn’t feel it.

“I did.”

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean whispers, and then kisses him fiercely. “Shit, that’s so hot.”

“I… What?” Castiel looks adorably confused, and pulls back. “What is that, Dean?”

“I need to confess something, too,” Dean says. He’s slowly turning red all over, and he knows that Castiel knows something is up with him as well.

“Tell me.”

“I kind of want Jimmy, too.”

Silence greets Dean’s confession and he has to look up at Castiel to see his dazed expression. “You… you want Jimmy, too?” Castiel asks. His tone matches his face and Dean can’t help but smile.

“Yeah, I do. I’ve been feeling guilty since we arrived. First I thought it was the cars, or the fact that he looks so similar, but now that I’ve actually spent a few hours with him… I feel comfortable around him, just like I do with you.” Dean bites his lips. “I know it’s soon, but… I just know that this… feeling will be developing quite quickly.”

“So you like him too?”

“Cas…” Dean laughs loudly. “Yes. I like him too. I might come to love him soon. You’re like a stuck record.”

“What do we do about this?” With that, Castiel turns the conversation into something serious again. “I… I want to like Jimmy, but… it’s incest, Dean. I’m literally fucking my twin brother if we continue to go through with this. I… It feels like… like I want something I shouldn’t want. Like I want to fuck _myself_. It’s…” Castiel trails off hopelessly.

“You haven’t grown up together,” Dean says. It’s the first thought that pops into his mind. “I wouldn’t mind. I don’t see the two of you as brothers, you don’t even share the same last name. Somehow, I don’t think any of this will be a real problem.” He grins. “Besides, you look hot, so why wouldn’t you want to fuck a copy of yourself?”

“Don’t make fun of this, Dean,” Castiel says. “I feel bad about this.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Dean says. “I know. Trust me. Holy shit, I’ve felt bad about it, too. I’m still not feeling okay, but I think we need to talk about this some more. First though: did you know Jimmy had to go back into the hospital in a few days?”

“We’ll talk more later. And Jimmy told me last night, yes,” Castiel confirms. “I mean, he told me just before he sucked me down, so I don’t know if he really meant for me to hear it.”

“We need to take care of him when he gets back. He’s still not fully recovered, and I’m already worried sick as it is,” Dean says. “I think we need to stay a little longer than we intended.”

“No problem for me,” Castiel says. “I mean, I can literally write everywhere if I want to, so I can stay. How are you, though?”

“I might have to call Bobby to get a reference, but I guess… maybe I can quit being a mechanic and finally get started on those online psychology classes I wanted to do for so long, you know.”

“Great idea.” Castiel nods. “We’ll be here for a few more days and you did bring your laptop, so yeah. Go ahead.”

“Good. I do want to go shopping at some point, to make sure Jimmy has all the fixings for great dinners. I want to cook for him when he comes back from the hospital.”

“We’ll do that,” Castiel says. He looks up and smiles. “Thank you, honey.”

Dean smiles too, and they cuddle again. It’s the best way to spend some time when they know Jimmy is going to be knocked out on the bed, too, since he needs his rest. Now that they know what they both feel for Jimmy, it’s easier to be together again. They will manage.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are love.  
> I'm on [tumblr](https://fpwoper.tumblr.com/)


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